Everything We Knew
by BringAttentionToTheMatter
Summary: Bella was going to get married, Jacob was a douche, she was pregnant, he was cheating, one late night visit to Alice and Rose's, a hospital fiasco, a night club, she needs a new apartment, what happens when a party goes wrong and she ends up in Edward Cullen's apartment, he needs a roomie, he has demons, can they help each other? normal pairings, RxR thank you ;)xxx
1. Chapter 1: The Douche

**Everything We Knew**

**Chapter 1: The Douche **

**BPOV**

I was fourteen, fourteen the first time I realized what my life was. One big sham. I was slightly overweight, just some extra flab on my stomach and face, but I had curves, I hated myself, my face was relatively clear, all my teeth were straight and together, my skin was pale and I hated myself, I was a laughing stock, and books were my life.

Fourteen was the age I figured out the sham of a life I led. I found the gym, it worked, took longer than I liked, but worked. i lost that extra weight, but I realized how much I hated my life, I was slightly depressed, that was until I met my friends.

Alice Brandon and Rose Hale were my best friends, we met in high school, it was awkward at first, but we grew to be inseparable. But I never thought I'd be here, standing outside the apartment building Rose and Alice shared, in the pouring rain, you couldn't even tell that I was crying. I pressed on the buzzer for their apartment.

''Hello.'' Alice's high soprano voice was muffled through the speaker.

''Alice.'' I whimpered, a sob escaping me.

''Bella, are you okay? Hold on I'm buzzing you in! Rose!'' Alice called before I lifted my finger from the button and walked in through the door miserably. They lived on the fifth floor, but I didn't feel worthy of the elevator, I know, stupid, right? Not in my head, I climbed up the stairs slowly, feeling stupid for not grabbing a bag or for not grabbing . . . anything. Even a lamp . . . and throwing it at him.

My shoe's squeaked as I walked and I couldn't stop shivering. My hair clung to me and I knew my make-up was smeared all over my face, my jumper was falling off one shoulder and I put my fist up to my mouth to hold in my scream.

A light flickered as I made my way up, the journey was early, my chest ached and I couldn't breathe, my hand covered my face, and I tried to keep in the sobs that escaped. Once I got to apartment forty-two-B I didn't have to knock, because it was already wide open with Alice and Rose standing there. Rose's hair was perfection, naturally blond, long and wavy; she wore a black tank-top and a baby pink, velvet sleep pants with tiger print slippers. She could go out shopping and be full on gawked at, not because she was in pajamas, but because even in old, warn bed wear, she was a model. Oddly enough she owned her own garage and loved cars and racing and such.

Alice was a fashion designer and owned her own small fashion boutique. She had a knack for finding the best deals and making any outfit work. They were my complete opposite, I loved books and writing, but I was a social worker, I wanted to help kids in bad situations, ironic, help them, but not myself.

Once Rose saw me she ran over and pulled me into a tight embrace, I didn't even notice when she pulled me in the door, before I knew it I was sitting on their couch, crying my eyes out.

''Bella, snap out of it, what happened? It's Jake isn't it? I'll kill him, I swear I'll kill that douche bag.'' Rose growled.

''He's in our apartment, but I wouldn't go over there if I was you.'' I whispered weakly.

Alice's lip curled. ''Tell us what happened Bella. With your hand as well.'' She said, I noticed she was staring at my ring finger, but my ring was gone. And the pain in my hand was barely noticeable anymore.

''Well . .. '' I started.

_No, no, no, this can't be happening, not again, not again! I stared at the sink, ten, there were ten of them, I wanted to make sure._

_Damn it I was twenty-five, I shouldn't have to be dealing with this shit! Breathe Bella breathe._

_I can't do this again, I warned Jake, I told him, but would he listen? Not a chance in holy hell. All ten of them couldn't be wrong, right? No, five different brands couldn't get it wrong._

_I was pregnant._

_I couldn't breathe; this wasn't good, not at all, no, no, no. I'll kill Jake, I'll kill hands are sweaty and there is a knot in my throat that won't go. I heard the rustling of keys and a door opening, he was home, I twiddled my engagement ring around on my finger, I was biting my lip so hard I was bound to break the skin._

''_Bells, your home? We need to talk.''_

_That we did that we did._

_I picked up five of the sticks; double-checking, yep, still positive! As if it would have magically changed in the last minute._

_I hid the sticks behind my back, keeping them away from my clothes, what? I had peed on them for Christ's sake! I sat down at the kitchen table opposite Jake, he was wearing his usual suit, he was a lawyer, he worked insanely long hours!_

''_Bells, there is no easy way to say this.'' He paused. ''I want to break up with you.'' _

''_What?'' I managed to squeak out._

''_Look, we were only eighteen when we met, and it's been a good seven years, but I don't love you anymore Bells.'' He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ''I never wanted to hurt you, but I can't marry you.''_

''_Why now?'' I wheeze out, dear god no! I clutched the sticks tightly in my hands, hiding them far from his view._

''_Okay, this is going to be worse, but Bells, for the past year, I've been cheating on you.'' He paused._

''_You . . .You what?'' I screeched, standing up, still hiding the sticks._

''_I have chlamydia, and you might have too, I'm-''_

''_I swear to god Jacob Fucking Black if you say sorry I will kill you.'' I screamed._

''_Yeah well I am.'' He snapped. ''I never meant for you to get heart Bells.'' he sighed._

''_Didn't you?'' I wailed. Without thinking I yanked off my ring and threw it at him, it was so small it didn't do much damage._

_His eyes widened. ''Bells, what's in your hands?'' he asked, I looked down to see them._

''_Oh these.'' I laughed bitterly, holding them up. ''You really do have impeccable timing, congratulations daddy.'' I said, storming towards the door. There was a lamp over there, if I could just get it._

''_Bells, please, I'm sorry, I suppose we could make it work.''_

''_Oh you suppose, do you?'' I spat, darting past him, but he grabbed my wrist, I whimpered in pain, dropping the sticks._

''_Jacob.'' I said slowly. ''You're hurting me.'' I said, starting to panic now, he twisted it back further and I heard a pop, I cried out, my pain must have brought him to his senses and he let me go._

''_I'll be in tough Jacob.'' I spat, cradling my wrist, which was now turning purple The pain was blinding._

_I ran out the door, grabbing my car keys, nothing else. I ran to the car, the rain felt nice on my wrist, but as I drove, the pain radiating from my wrist was nothing._

''Oh Bella, has he ever done this to you before? I can kill him, I have connections.'' Rose barked.

''I'm sure you do, but no.'' I sighed. ''And Alice, I am not going to the hospital.''

''Oh yes you are, idiot.'' She snorted, examining my hand. ''He's a douche, at least _chlamydia _can't kill you.'' Alice said.

I rolled my eyes. ''Oh yes the bright side.'' I snorted. Suddenly a sharp pain stabbed me in the stomach. ''Oh shit, Alice, I need to go the hospital.'' I cried, black spots appeared in my vision.

''Finally she sees sense!'' she cheered.

I put my hand down on the couch, shaking my head. ''I don't see sense.'' I gulped, lifting up my bright, scarlet fingers. ''but I see blood.''

Then everything went black.

**Hey, please review and tell me, if i should continue or not, yes or no, thank you for reading ;)xxx**

**-BATTM **


	2. Chapter 2: Shake It Out

**Everything We Knew**

**Chapter 2: Shake It Out**

**BPOV**

''_I'm sorry Miss Swan, there is no heartbeat.''_

I sighed, a mix of pain and relief ran through me. Should I be happy or sad? I wasn't ready for a baby, again, but a small part of me _wanted _it. So, I let a few tears fall down my cheeks, I wiped that cold jelly stuff off my stomach with one hand, Rose is clutching the other. Doctor Newton left through the door, eye fucking me. PERV ALLERT JEAZ!

Okay, so I was acting like a zombie, I knew this would happen, I _knew _it, deep down I had the feeling, and the medical records. My seven-year-long relationship ended, my one-month-old-unborn-baby had died, but I didn't feel anything.

I was numb.

Just numb, I was nothing, like I could just crumble at any moment, or drift through life un-noticed, but then I felt I wrap her tiny hands around me in a hug and I remembered that I had friends, if nothing else.

''Look on the bright side.'' Alice said meekly, knowing that whatever she said wouldn't drown out the fact that my uterus was empty and useless. ''All your test results came back negative to every-single sexually transmitted disease.''

''Oh yes, so lucky that, that's the freaking bright side.'' I mumbled.

''There's the Bells we know.'' Rose beamed and I stiffened.

''_**Okay, this is going to be worse, but Bells, for the past year, I've been cheating on you.'' He paused.**_

''Please don't call me that, it's I now, or why don't I just go one step further and change my name to Higginbotham, yeah, Isabella Higginbotham, I sound like . . .like . . .''

''An idiot.'' Rose suggested.

''Yeah, Plus I think it would be easier to just stay Swan.'' I sighed, leaning back on the hospital bed, closing my eyes. ''Would you make sure Jacob doesn't get in?'' I asked, suddenly wary of the fact he could come in here, I wasn't ready to see him yet.

''Already done, he's in the waiting room, refusing to go.'' Rose barely said the words when my eyes flew open and I swung my legs over the bed, forgetting about my sprained wrist, I had it in a brace.

''I have to go.''

''Its okay, he's not coming back here if he knows what's good for him.'' Rose growled, I saw Alice nod with a hard face in my puerperal vision.

''No! you don't understand, if he wants something he gets it!'' I shivered, struggling against Roses hold on my arms.

''I, what do you mean, .. .Bella, talk to us!'' Alice begged, and I slumped against Rose, finally admitting defeat.

''Nothing, I mean nothing by it, he's just persuasive and sneaky is all.'' I sniffled. ''When can I go?'' I asked.

''You were out for around a day, but you are fine, well, as fine as you can be, so Dr. Newton/I don't care that you just lost a baby I will eye fuck you anyway, is gone to get your discharge papers, they wanted to keep you in overnight, but I convinced them otherwise.'' Rose winked at me, smirking.

''Rose.'' I whined. ''How much?'' I asked.

''And who says I paid a certain perv doc anything?'' She acted innocent and used her arms to push her boobs up and together.

I snorted. ''Gross Rose.''

''Hey! I can be persuasive too!'' she snickered.

_I didn't need the mental image, someone, hand me the brain bleach, blah._

Once I got the discharge papers and signed my release I tried to leave the hospital. Easier said than done.

''Jacob'' I nodded, my voice and eyes hard.

''Why so formal Isabella?'' He chuckled, stepping closer. Rose and I stepped in front of me imminently, blocking my view.

''Leave now Jacob.'' I threatened.

''Says the pixie.'' He snorted. ''I have a right to see her, she's my fiancée, I just lost my child.'' He argued, he seemed so cold, my eyes watered, how could he be so cruel? Did he even care about the baby that was no more?

''It's more her child than yours, well, you know what I mean. . . . and she was your fiancée, Black, but the minute you cheated on her she stopped being your anything.'' Rose spat.

Alice called over two security guards, who came over and escorted Jacob off the premises, but he broke free from their restraints and ran forward to hit me, his hand coming straight at my face, the blow never came, but I heard the thump of him hitting something. I prised my eyes open to see Rose lying on the ground, blood gushing from multiple cuts on her face, I screamed and dived down to Rose, I dropped to my knees, I heard a lot of shouting around me, Jacob was trying to get away, but he was pinned down by a few people, someone came over to us and Rose woke up, her face covered in blood, but she was grinning.

I hit her arm. ''Rosalie Lillian Hale.'' I cried. ''Why in the hell did you jump in front of me.'' I tried to scold her, but there was a lot of blood, I couldn't be mad while she looked like this . . .later.

''Coz.'' She said with a weak shrug. ''When you don't press charges on the asstard, at least I can.''

Rose was helped up and brought to a room to get cleaned up, luckily she didn't need stitches, just a painkiller, a bandage, and a bucket of foundation, from Alice, to hide the massive bruise on her cheek. Somehow, even with all the cuts, the bruises and the red eyes, she managed to pull the look off.

It that even legal?

But I knew why she did it, and it wasn't just for a lawsuit, though, there was no doubt that there would be one, it was because she didn't want me to go through any more pain, and to take my mind off of losing the baby, my baby, the feelings that I was suppressing were getting stronger, I tried to hide it, but ultimately, you can't hide the fact that I just lost the baby.

Alice looped her arm through mine, resting her head on my arm. It was a sign, as if to say that it would all be okay, and I knew, one day, it would, but not yet, I couldn't even see it in the near future, then again, I could be wrong, I usually am.

Once Rose was done, Alice drove us home, then a song came on the radio, it was only the first few verses that caught my attention though.

_Regrets collect like old friends  
Here to relive your darkest moments  
I can see no way, I can see no way  
And all of the ghouls come out to play_

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_  
_But I like to keep some things to myself_  
_I like to keep my issues drawn_  
_It's always darkest before the dawn_

_And I've been a fool and I've been blind_  
_I can never leave the past behind_  
_I can see no way, I can see no way_  
_I'm always dragging that horse around_

_Our love is pastured, such a mournful sound_  
_Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground_  
_So I like to keep my issues drawn_  
_But it's always darkest before the dawn_

I had lived my life in fear, well most of it, when I was sixteen it happened, it was too hard to talk, let alone think about, but it changed my life, but I needed to move on from it, it is the past, and the past is the past, there's no way of changing it, or forgetting it, but I was going to damn well try.

''Bella.'' Alice sighed. ''You can try to forget your past all you want, it won't work, and you sure as hell can't forget about the baby, Bella, I know you want to, of course you do, just.'' She sighed. ''I have a feeling that life's going to get better for us three, soon.''

At this point I had tears in my eyes. ''Al.'' I sniffled. ''Why does life have to be so confusing? You meet someone, you fall in love, get married.'' I paused. ''have kids.'' I whispered the last part, staring out the window blindly. ''I was with Jacob for seven years, I don't know how to be single anymore, but I'm glad, I think I'll just . . .turn into a nun. . . or a lesbian.''

Rose chuckled. ''Oh believe me, if I had a dollar for every time I thought about converting. Girls are so much better, but I tried in college.'' She scrunched her nose., shuddering. ''Never thinking about it again.''

''You are just full of lovely mental images today Rosie.'' I deadpanned.

She turned around in her seat to wink at me, then she winced. ''My face.'' She sighed. ''stings.'' She explained.

I frowned. ''Sorry.''

''It's not your fault, I'd feel worse if he hit you.''

''I wouldn't.'' I grumbled.

''Enough.'' Alice laughed. ''It's Halloween in a week, were celebrating your birthday Bella.'' She sang.

''My birthday was two months ago.'' I complained, knowing she was once again, trying to side track me.

''I know, so, were going out this weekend to get an invitation to a Halloween party, Bella I already have your outfit picked out.''

''For the weekend or Halloween?'' I asked.

''Both.''

Crap.

**I decided to update sooner rather than later, got two reviews, well, that's one more than my other story, so, here it is, I'll update within the week, probably. Thank you to everyone who followed, fevered, or reviewed on this story. And remember, Bella hasn't really let it process the fact that she lost the baby, and she's confused and doesn't know what to feel. Thank you. ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	3. Chapter 3: Brick by boring brick

**Everything We Knew**

**Chapter 3: Brick by boring brick: the mess**

**BPOV**

''Alice, do you really think this is wise, she just lost her baby a week ago, she shouldn't be going out, she should be in, eating ice-cream and chocolate, going to therapy, not a night club.'' Rose hissed through the door, I had to silently thank her, I hated going out, plus, I wouldn't admit it, but I was depressed, naturally, I tried to hide my red-rimmed eyes, whenever Rose or Alice weren't looking, I was sobbing my eyes out, I just felt, cold, empty.

''Rose, think about it, when Royce hurt you, you pretended it didn't happen, suppressed your emotions, then we brought you out, and you crumbled, broke down, you just needed that push, and it worked didn't it? You're better now.'' Alice soothed.

''So what? You want to push her until she blows.'' Rose Spat.

''No, I want to push her until she realises she can't ignore it anymore.''

Rose didn't respond. I didn't want her to. Instead, I changed into a way to skimpy midnight blue dress Alice bought for me, latching on the black death traps people call high-heals, they knew that I wasn't all there when I didn't fight them on the outfit. Why would I? I'm done fighting. Just done.

I closed my eyes and lay down on my bed, well it was Alice's, but we were sharing, damn I needed a new apartment. Or you know, just an apartment. Before long I started thinking again. About the last seven years, wasted, I knew I was still young, twenty-five. But I was damaged, way beyond repair, and I hated it, Rose was strong, Alice was happy, I was neither, nothing. I don't know how long I laid there, but the tears escaped and ran down my cheeks and pooled in the pillow below me, and I drifted off to sleep, my quiet sobs shacking me.

*****E*W*K*****

''Alice, you're going to suffocate her!'' Rose whisper-shouted, I felt pressure on my chest, I coughed.

''Oh don't have an aneurysm, I weigh less than her pinkie finger!'' Alice argued, I didn't know if I should be offended or not.

I groaned, flickering my eyes open, ow, light. Son of a bit- ''You're awake.''

''Yeah, Alice, you weigh a bit more than my pinkie finger.'' I teased. ''You put make-up on me while I was asleep, didn't you? Is that a form of assault? I think it is.''

''If making you slightly more attractive is a crime than, arrest me, social worker.''

''I can't arrest people idiot.''

''I know. Oh, rose, turn up the radio, I love this song.'' Rose turned it up and Alice started shaking her head and singing along, this song has now been ruined for me.

''_While I was out, I found myself alone just thinking  
If I showed up with a plane ticket  
And a shiny diamond ring with your name on it  
Would you wanna run away too?  
'Cause all I really want is you''_

''Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I want that, shit, sorry Bella.'' Alice said, slapping a hand over her mouth.

''It's fine, hey, could you get off me, I mean I'm flattered and all, but Lesbihonest, I just can't roll that way. Plus, honestly, I want it too, someday, I'm just not ready yet.'' I sighed as she got off of me, I saw where she was coming from, but they were young, undamaged, and ready for commitment. I wasn't.

''Yeah, well, let's just go.'' I said. Running a hand through my hair, ruffling it, hopping up from the bed, I grabbed, well nothing really, all my things were at Jacob's place I was borrowing Rose's clothes, all Alices were too small.

_*****E*W*K*****_

The atmosphere was electric, the live band were amazing, 'Fortress' I think they were called, or something along those lines. I had this week off on 'medical leave' I should be curled up in a rocking ball, shouting at the world. Instead, I was in a club, with this old sweaty bald guy was trying to grind up agent me, Alice thankfully saved me from the hairy man, who frankly, looked old enough to be my dad.

She ordered three shots, I growled. ''Alice, I don't want to drink.''

''One won't kill you.'' She argued, handing me the tiny glass, I didn't move. She rolled her eyes, taking my hand in hers. ''Look, I put this in your hand'' she shouted over the music. ''And you drink it.''

_**His eyes widened. ''Bells, what's in your hands?'' he asked, I looked down to see them.**_

''_**Oh these.'' I laughed bitterly, holding them up. ''You really do have impeccable timing, congratulations daddy.'' I said, storming towards the door. There was a lamp over there, if I could just get it.**_

I held up the glass and downed it, my eyes wide, I shook my head, damn the flashbacks. The alcohol had no effect on me, yet, though the tingling pain in my sprained hand seemed to disappear, Rose noticed the tears in my eyes.

''Bella, your favourite band's 'Paramore, right?'' she asked, I nodded, grinning, she danced her way over to the band, who were taking requests. I nearly died when they started the song.

''_This goes out to a Bella Swan who's just been dumped._'' I growled at Rose when she came back, but couldn't stop laughing when they started playing the song, replacing the word 'Castle' with 'Asshole'. Rose and Alice pulled me to the dance floor, and I couldn't help but dance, damn friends knowing I have a weak spot for good music.

_**"Brick By Boring Brick"**__  
_

_Well she lives in a fairy tale  
Somewhere too far for us to find  
Forgotten the taste and smell  
Of a world that she's left behind  
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her  
The angles are all wrong now  
She's ripping wings off of butterflies_

_Keep your feet on the ground_  
_When your head's in the clouds_  
_Well go get your shovel_  
_And we'll dig a deep hole_  
_To bury the __**asshole**, bury the** asshole**_

_Go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the **asshole**, bury the **asshole**_

_Ba da ba ba da ba ba da_

_So one day he found her crying_  
_Coiled up on the dirty ground_  
_Her prince finally came to save her_  
_And the rest you can figure out_  
_But it was a trick_  
_And the clock struck twelve_  
_Well make sure to build your heart brick by boring brick_  
_Or the wolf's gonna blow it down_

_Keep your feet on the ground_  
_When your head's in the clouds_

_Well go get your shovel_  
_And we'll dig a deep hole_  
_To bury the __**asshole**__, bury the__** asshole**_

_Go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
We'll bury the __**asshole**__, bury the __**asshole**_

_Oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa_

_Well you built up a world of magic_  
_Because your real life is tragic_  
_Yeah you built up a world of magic_

_If it's not real_  
_You can't hold it in your hand_  
_You can't feel it with your heart_  
_And I won't believe it_  
_But if it's true_  
_You can see it with your eyes_  
_Oh, even in the dark_  
_And that's where I want to be, yeah_

_Go get your shovel_  
_And we'll dig a deep hole_  
_To bury the __**asshole**, bury the **asshole**_

_Go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the **asshole**, bury the** asshole**[x2]  
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da  
Ba da ba ba ba da ba ba  
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da  
Ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba_

''I can't believe you did that Rose.'' I laughed.

She shrugged, unfazed. ''We can dream, we can think, and we can sing, unfortunately, we can't kill him, I'm too pretty to go to jail, Alice would annoy everyone, and you'd be someone's bitch.''

''Yeah.'' I sighed, not really listening.

''Bella are you listening? Wanna go cliff diving? Look, its Robert Patterson! He's naked! So am I! Alice is Dying! I'm going to cut your hair off, you'll be bald. Hot guy is staring at you! The place is on fire!''

''That's nice.'' I said.

''Damn.'' She snickered. ''Alice, we've lost her.'' I felt a stinging pain on my left ass cheek.

''Ow, Alice, Damn it! What the hell.'' I yelled, rubbing the pain away, I'm going to be brushed tomorrow.

''Sorry, but if I was really dying, you'd be in trouble.''

''What?'' I asked.

''Nothing.'' She shook her head. ''I think it's time to go.'' She giggled, her words starting to slur, she was staring off in the direction Rose just went.

''Rose just got an invite to a Halloween party, didn't she?'' I asked dryly.

''Yep.'' Alice giggled. ''She's over there sucking the face off a huge muscly guy, he's massive!'' she laughed, I rolled my eyes, dragging Alice away to Find Rose, once we did find her (her new friend was indeed freaking huge, though he reminded me of a child)

Once we got home Rose went to her room and Alice collapsed on the ground, I brought her to the couch, there was no way I'd be able to bring her to the bedroom in the death traps. Once I took them off, I collapsed on the bed, Salty tears already running down my face.

I was a mess.

**There you have it. I will update sometime soon. Now I Beta'd myself, so sorry if I didn't catch all my mistakes, sorry. **

**Heavy question for you.**

**Do any of you out there, like, have any of you ever been through anything in life that changed you, mentally I mean, do you ever wonder if that thing that changed you, what if that never happened? Would you still be the same person you are now? I've always wondered if I would be any different if what happened to me was different. Any of you out there, just, ever wonder?**

**You don't have to answer.**

**Just review on this chapter if you wish. If you're going to hate on me, please read my bio. If not, then just review, the songs are. 'She looks so perfect.' by '5SOS'. AND 'Brick by boring brick.' By 'Paramore'. Thank you. ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	4. Chapter 4: Fucking Dr Newton

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 4: Fucking Dr Newton.**

**BPOV(Bella).**

''I feel like a slut.'' I deadpanned.

Alice rolled her eyes. ''That's the point, Idiot . . .you're a slutty vampire.'' She laughed. ''Like I'm a slutty nurse, and Rose a stripper.'' She explained. Yeah, she was right I wasn't so bad, Rose was in her underwear, shiny gold bra and matching panties and skirt with break-your-ankle-black-heals, so yeah, it could have been worse.

Alice's legs were on full show, with her ass barely covered, her bra hadn't made the cut and she had a hat with a red cross on it. I on the other hand had a skin-tight black skirt that went to mid-thigh, and a red corset that pushed my boobs together and hurt my ribs, with red heals (which would be the death of me) my hair was all proofed out and I had blood red lipstick on.

''Look, guys, I've been thinking, tomorrow, I'm going to look for an apartment, I go back to work in three days and I need a place.'' I said.

Rose sighed, and wiped a fake tear from her eye. ''I knew this day would come, our girl is growing up and moving out Pookie.'' She sniffled.

''Oh no, please do not, ever, ever call Alice Pookie again, I may die.'' I gagged.

''Hey, don't diss my Rosie.'' Alice pouted, patting my cheeks.

''Wouldn't dream of it.'' I rolled my eyes.

''We better go.'' Rose said eagerly, and I knew why, ever since we went out that night, all she talked about was Emmett this and Emmett that, yet, she denied that she liked him.

Yeah and I'm still getting married in a week.

I don't think that that particular fact had sunk in yet, only for Alice saying she cancelled the band, and the caterer, and the venue, and told all the guest that the wedding was off, I'd be lost.

My mother was pissed, I couldn't care less, I didn't even remember why I invited her to the wedding.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

''Okay, let's go, Rose and I will go with you tomorrow and get your stuff from Jacob's.'' Alice said, her eyes and voice turning cold at the mongrels name.

''Really.'' I spluttered. ''I'm fine.''

Alice glared at me. ''Isabella Marie Swan, we are getting your stuff, you can't hide forever, anyway he's not there, I've asked around, Jacob is gone, I mean since he was released from jail last week, he hasn't been seen once, and the trial is coming up next month, if he's not there.'' Alice just shook her head.

''Sorry, I just don't like change.'' I tried to explain, Jacob was there, easy, safe, now, I just don't know what to think.

''Yes, but isn't leaving Jacob good change?'' Rose asked, as we left the apartment, thank goodness it was night and it was hard to see me, though I was pasty white, I probably glowed in the dark.

I shook my head, hailing a cab and getting in, we told him the address. ''I'm just not used to being alone, I was with Jacob for seven years, I'm starting to realize how much he manipulated me, I hadn't properly talked to you guys in like a year, he hated the hours I worked, and hated my scars.'' I ranted off. ''I should be used to the pain and rejection, but I'm not.'' I sighed.

''No-one can get used to pain, they just get used to the throbbing, but the pain, that's always there.'' Alice soothed. ''You should be in pain, it's what makes us human, makes us real, frankly, I'd be worried if after all that's happened, you weren't in pain.''

My eyes filled with tears, but I didn't let them spill. ''Ah, yes, Pain.'' I paused, sniffling. ''That demanding ache that's impossible to ignore.''

''It may be impossible to ignore.'' Rose said. ''But, for one night, it might be able to be forgotten, just for a while, tomorrow, we go and get your stuff. Then burn his house down. Then hunt him down and castrate him with a very long rusty Spork, I don't want to catch anything.''

There's the Rose I know.

_*****E*W*K*****_

''Alice, I'm going to kill you.'' I growled, I couldn't feel my legs, well actually, I could, that was the problem, I was freezing. ''I'm a human popsicle.'' I grumbled.

''Oh suck it up-''

''I can't Rose, my corset is so tight-''

''I'm wearing less than you, and I'm fine.''

''That's because you are, like, immune to any weather unless it's hot, then you feel it, and you never burn, it's not fair, it's freezing, Alice, love how you neglected to mention that the party was on a roof.'' I scoffed.

''I didn't know.'' She shrugged innocently.

''Sure.'' I nodded.

Music was blasting from the speakers, people were dancing around in various outfits. I felt completely out of place, I just wanted this night to end.

''Emmett.'' Rose squealed as she was picked up and thrown over a giant shoulder.

''Rosie.'' He nodded, setting her down. ''These are your friends?'' He smiled, showing his dimples.

''Yes, this is Alice and Bella, you don't have any friends for them, do you?'' she asked, I hoped she was joking, please tell me she's joking.

She wasn't joking.

_*****E*W*K*****_

''So Taylor.'' I began. ''What do you do?''

''I'm a janitor, I clean Volturi's law firm, I work with Jasper.'' He explained, his voice turned husky, I think he was trying to be sexy, I'm not too sure, but I threw up in my mouth a little. I wasn't ready for this. Damn my friends to the fiery pits of hell.

''Jasper.'' I said. ''The blond one with my friend?'' I asked, looking over to Alice who looked like she had won the lottery.

''Yes.'' He replied dumbly.

''Well Okay then, it was nice to meet you, Taylor, I have to go.'' I explained, slipping out from the corner where he had trapped me with his arms, he gave me the shivers, and not the good kind.

''Isabella Swan?'' I heard a nasal voice.

''Jessica Stanley?'' I asked.

''Yes, It's Newton now, I heard about the engagement falling through, so sorry.'' She didn't seem sorry at all. ''Oh, and my husband told me about your miscarriage, you seem fine now though, dressed up like _that.''_ She sneered, I saw red, I clenched my fists and tried to hold back the tears.

''Wait, husband? Newton? Dr. Newton?'' I asked, the sicko who eye fucked me, he was married, and told his wife personal information about me.

She giggled and slapped a hand over her mouth, then put one finger up to her lips and hissed. ''Shhhhhhhhh'' before stumbling off, she had gotten fatter since high school . . .just saying.

Bitch.

Rose's blond head was the next thing in my line of sight, I don't know if I was just looking for her or Alice, or just her, or just happened to find her and zone in on her, but whatever the reason, I found myself stumbling over to her.

She was with Emmett, talking with him and another man I didn't recognize, I just saw the back of his head, he had weird bronze hair, and was dressed as a doctor, but it looked like a real doctors uniform and not just a costume, but it was definitely better that Emmett's Tarzan outfit.

''Bella.'' Rose shouted over the music, smiling, her smile dropped when she saw me.

''What's wrong? What happened, if Taylor did anything to you I will rip his balls off.'' she threatened, I just shook my head, and she pulled me to her and hugged the shit out of me.

''I ran into Jessica Stanley.'' I said, forgetting about the other two guys and not noticing them staring at us.

''No fucking way.'' She said, she pulled away from me and her eyes widened.

''Its Jessica Newton now.'' I said dryly, feeling some tears run down my cheeks. ''Dr. Newton, Rose, they're Married, he told her.'' I cried. ''He told her about my miscarriage, is he even allowed to do that? Doctor patient confidentiality?'' I questioned as she pulled me in for another hug.

''No, he isn't.'' The guy with the weird hair said. ''I'm sorry for hearing that, I wasn't trying to. I'm Edward Cullen, I work with Michel Newton, and he can lose his job for doing that.'' His voice was velvet, and it melted me, I was a pile of Bella goo, and if his voice hadn't done that, it was his eyes, he had the greenest eyes.

''Emmett, didn't you say Jasper was a lawyer? From Volturi law?'' Rose asked.

''Yes, he and Alice are coming over here, Alice looks worried.'' He added on.

''Rosie, if you want a lawyer for your case, shouldn't you go somewhere else? I mean Jacob worked there.'' I sniffled.

''Wait, Jacob? Jacob Black?'' Emmett asked, his eyes hardening and his voice became a hiss.

''Yes, do you know him?'' Rose asked as Jasper and Alice came up and Alice hugged me, taking me off of the ground.

''Alice, I can barely breathe with this monkey costume you forced me into, and you're not helping the situation.'' I wheezed.

''Sorry, Jacob is FUCKTARD.'' She exclaimed, putting me down.

Emmett glared at the air to his right side before turning back to Rose. ''Yes Rosie we know him, unfortunately, ugh I hated him, he was such a douche, slept around with all the females in the building.'' He explained, more tears fell from my eyes and Alice elbowed him in the ribs. ''Ow what the hell?''

''Jacob was my fiancée, we were meant to get married next week.'' I admitted.

''I'm sorry, I didn't know.'' He started.

''It's fine, when he broke up with me he told me he cheated, I didn't think it was that bad though.''

''Bella he was a douche, he stressed you out too much.'' Alice said, placing a hand on my stomach, I was about to argue that he wasn't the reason for the miscarriage, but she wouldn't let me. ''He hit Rose, tried to hit Bella actually, not twenty-four hours after she lost their child, but Rose jumped in front of her.'' Alice explained.

''Jasper, will you be my lawyer? I have a court case against Jacob, and when we complain against Dr. Newton/I don't care that you just lost a baby I will eye fuck you anyway, we'll probably need you.'' Rose frowned. ''Bella, are you okay?''

I felt dizzy. ''Peachey Rose, God knows who else Dr. Newton told, who Jessica told, she's a gossiper, oh god…'' I panicked.

''Bella breathe.'' Alice put her hand around my wrist and I flinched.

''_**Oh you suppose, do you?'' I spat, darting past him, but he grabbed my wrist painfully, I whimpered, dropping the sticks.**_

''Shit, Bella, open your eyes.'' Alice's voice was foggy.

''Alice move, I'm a doctor, I think she's having a panic attack.''

Edward's voice was the last thing I heard as everything went black and I kissed the ground.

**I don't know if anyone is out there, so far having three chapters and three reviews isn't cutting it. If I don't get more reviews, I'm thinking of cutting it, I don't know, I have more stories I might try, but I'll leave it up for another week and update again and see if anyone likes this story, or if I'm good at all. Oh and also, thanks' to **SpeakLaurieHalseAnderson **for recking my story, she has really good stories to, go check her out. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	5. Chapter 5: Saying Goodbye

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 5: Saying Goodbye. **

**BPOV(Bella).**

''She's coming to.''

''Bella, I'm sorry, I never should have made you come tonight, and apologizing is getting me nowhere, Bella open your eyes or I'm going to burn your books.'' Alice threatened.

''Not if you value your wardrobe.'' I groaned, cracking my eyes open. My head was throbbing and it hurt to move.

Alice smirked. ''I knew it, threaten the books, and she'll wake up.'' she laughed.

''Yes, well, I'm awake now, so if you touch 'Pride and Prejudice' I will burn your Gucci's.'' I said. Alice was standing beside me, with Edward, I suddenly felt self-conscious, lying down.

Then I started laughing.

''What?'' Edward asked.

''I'm being looked after by a doctor and a nurse.'' They looked down at their outfits and laughed.

''Where am I?'' I asked.

''My apartment, Rose is talking with Jasper and Emmett about the court case, and Alice and I have been trying to wake you, I don't think you need the hospital, just rest tomorrow.'' Edward smiled, but it wasn't a true smile, it was forced, and didn't reach his eyes.

I groaned, trying to push the fact that I may be lying on Edward Cullen's bed out of my head. ''But I'm apartment hunting tomorrow, I hate it, but I have to do it before I go back to work.''

''I suppose you could go to a few places, but don't overdo it, I know how you feel, I'm trying to rent this room out, I have three showings tomorrow.'' He grumbled.

''Hey, wait a minute.'' Alice chirped. ''Edward what apartment number is this?''

''Twelve B, why?''

Alice grinned wickedly. ''Bella, this is the apartment you are meant to see at one tomorrow, you guys should move in together, Oh, it would be perfect.'' She sang, dancing around the room, I tried to sit up, but my head throbbed and I sank back on the bed.

''Alice you can't just say that, it's his choice who he wants as a roommate, not yours.'' I frowned.

''You'd want to live here?'' he asked.

''Um yes! I've only seen this room and I'm in love, plus it has a nice elevator.''

''Yeah the elevator's everything.'' He laughed.

''But really, you should meet the other two people, I'd feel bad if you didn't.''

''Deal breaker question, if you had one wish, what would you wish for, give an appropriate answer and the room's yours.''

''I wish for world peace.''

''Really'' He said sceptically, raising an eyebrow.

''No, it would be pleasant to have it, but why wish for the unfeasible overused wish, when honestly I'd want fewer children in abusive homes, but that's not happening either, so I'd really wish for myself to be able to have Strawberry ice-cream at any time in the day because at least that's feasible.'' I lied, I was a bad liar, but he seemed to buy it.

''You're in.''

''Really?'' I asked.

''Really.'' He assured.

For the first time in years, someone who wasn't one of my best friends made me smile.

_*****E*W*K*****_

''Really?'' I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Edward smirked. ''Really, we have to stop saying that, but anyway, yes, I'll go with you and the girls to get your things.''

''Thanks.'' I breathed.

''Bella?''

''Hum?'' I said, momentarily distracted.

''It's raining, Alice and Rose are meeting us there, get in the car.'' He chuckled when I blushed, I got in his silver Volvo and he turned up the heat, I must have looked like a drowned rat.

I gave him directions to the house and not five minutes later we pulled up. ''Just give me a second.'' I replied, breathing deeply.

''You okay?'' He muttered, I held up a finger, I had known this man for a day, and I trusted him. I don't know how I came to the realization, maybe it was when I asked him to come with me, I don't know, it might have been the sad empty look in his eyes either, he had been hert, lost someone he loved. And, he was still grieving.

I knew that my trust in him wasn't complete, I don't think I even completely trusted Alice and Rose, Jacob had ruined me, and I don't know when I will be able to trust again, or if I'll _ever_ be able to trust again. I trusted Jacob, or at least I _thought _I trusted him, but he took that trust and ripped it into a million bitter pieces, like my heart.

I shouldn't miss him, I should hate him, right? He betrayed me, stressed me out so much it may have added to the reason for my miscarriage, but I knew the likelihood of me getting pregnant and carrying it to term was slim, I was told this, I had always been told this, ever since I was five I had known, though back then, I didn't understand, I just knew I was hurting and I hated the world.

Those memories were best forgotten.

''Why does life have to be so complicated?'' I groaned, resting my head against the window.

''One of life's great unanswered questions.'' He answered.

''Yeah.'' I squeezed my eyes closed and managed to prize them open. ''I have to get this over with before I'm sick.''

Alice and Rose were already in there, cleaning up the place, I gasped when I walked in, the place was trashed, tables overturned, lamps and Vase's broken, picture's smashed, the kitchen window was broken.

Rose came out of the bathroom, wide-eyed, holding something. ''I swear it wasn't me, I never even called my connections.'' She defended.

I was still frozen in the door, when my eyes zoomed in on Rose's hands, she seemed to follow my gaze along with Alice and Edward, whom I felt stiffen beside me. I was wondering why she was touching the sticks, but I had to swallow back vomit at the thought, I was yearning for the thing I lost, the thing I might never have.

''I'm going to go.'' I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was tempted to end it there, to just turn around and run for the hills, or more like cliffs, and jump off them. But I forced myself to say more. ''get my stuff.'' I finished, heading up stairs, I had to dodge some broken pictures on the stairs, but the upstairs wasn't trashed.

I grabbed a bag and filled it with random things from my dresser, and wardrobe. I could do this, I was doing this. I grabbed my strawberry shampoo, and I know this seemed juvenile and stupid, but I wanted revenge, and you try getting revenge on someone twice your size, not pretty. So, I poured away all his shampoo's and gels, yeah, I know, stupid.

But worth it if he was the slightest bit annoyed.

What if he came after me? Not for the shampoo thing, but just out of anger, he tried to hit me in the hospital, and he sprained my wrist, what if he would come back to finish the job?

''Bella, do you want to go, you're looking pale.'' Alice said softly, touching my arm, I flinched; she looked hurt, but composed her face. ''I won't hurt you, let's go, in case he comes back.'' Those words got me, I zipped up my lone bag and slumped downstairs, fidgeting nervously with my hands I toed the ground, kicking around a piece of glass.

Rose took my bag and gave me a threatening glare when I toed to object, so I just let her. I spent a minute saying goodbye to the house I had spent years in.

When I was back in Edward's Volvo, he was quiet, perhaps knowing I needed silence, I gazed at the house as it became obscured from my vision. And, I wasn't just saying goodbye to the house, I was saying goodbye to my old life, to Jacob.

To me.

I had to move on, and I was going to try to do it soon.

Of course I knew better than to try and rush grief, I had known enough hurt in my life, but if I had the chance to do it again, I would do it the same.

Because if I didn't, I would not be who I am today.

**In my last AN. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was expecting a shit ton of reviews, I meant when fifteen people are following and I have three reviews it gets depressing. Never mind. I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot, I mean, everything I say just, comes out wrong. It's annoying, but hilarious as well.**

**Remember, Bella is really confused and scared right now. This is an Edward/Bella fanfic, and we're getting there, I don't know if any of you have noticed, but Edward has a troubled past, and so does Bella, her past goes beyond what we already know, her troubles started when she was five, and Edward's troubles started when he was sixteen . . .and started dating Lauren. . . .**


	6. Chapter 6: Alec and Jane

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 6: Alec and Jane.**

**BPOV(Bella).**

"Alec, Jane, come here." I said slowly, my eyes wide, but my breathing was under control, even if my own life was a mess, my work was separate, I had been back for almost a week now.

"Don't move." Their dad snarled, Jack Stevenson tightened his grip on his children's arms.

Jane was about 4'8"; she had a tiny body with pale brown hair and creamy skin to match it. Her face would be angelically beautiful and childlike, if it wasn't for her busted lip and inflamed eye. Her twin, Alec was similar, though his hair is a darker brown, and he was a bit taller, around 5'0", his face distorted with a bloody nose and black eye. Jane looked like she just wanted to hurt her dad, while Alec was staring at his sister like he just wanted to take her pain away.

My heart lurched for these children, they were only twelve, too young for this, any age is too young for this. Deputy Steve and Mark cocked their guns in warning.

"Mr. Stevenson, let go of the kids, please, give them over and no one has to get hurt." Deputy Mark said.

"No, they're my kids, I can do what I want with them." He snarled,

"Yes." I calmly agreed. "But not child abuse, Mr. Stevenson, hand over your children and we can give them a better life."

"They're fine here." He shook their shoulders, and Jane whimpered in pain, that's when I noticed her arm twisted at an awkward angle, it looked broken. I think I growled a little.

"Daddy, that hurts." Jane hissed, still glaring at her father, as if she was wishing her stair would cause him maximum pain, Alec glared too, still wanting his sister out of pain.

"Shut up, Bitch." He growled, letting go of her arm and backhanding her, she fell to the floor and Alec struggled to get free, but he did and fell to the ground to where his sister was, sniffling quietly.

I didn't waste any time, neither did the deputies, we rushed forward and he was in handcuffs in a second and I knelt down by the twins.

"Hello." I said quietly. "I'm Bella, I'm going to go with you to the hospital to get you checked out, see if your arms okay, and then you're going to go to your uncle's, you know Aro?" I asked, their face's brightened immediately, then winced from their injuries.

"Get the EMT's in here." I told Deputy Mark, who nodded and left. "Can you get up?" I asked, turning back to the kids.

Alec helped Jane up. And she hissed in pain again, the EMT's come in and guided us to the ambulance, they sat down on the bed and I sat in the chair.

I wanted to help people, that's why I became a social worker, I wanted to help kids in situations like this the most because I wanted them out of there, I just never remember how bad it is when I'm called to assist with a home visit. This time wasn't so bad, I mean at least I didn't have a parent sobbing and pleading to let them keep their children, I always found that gut retching.

But I had to do what was best for the kids, be there for the kids before something really bad happens.

I wish there was someone there for me.

I hate Mondays.

***E*W*K***

"I'm sorry, family only." Nurse Denali sneered.

"Nurse, their family was unable to be contacted at this moment, and I am their social worker, I can be in there. Can I talk to a doctor or something?" I huffed annoyed; her perfume was making me nauseas. At least I knew I wouldn't get Dr. Newton, after my complaint, his medical licence was temporarily revoked and he is under investigation.

"Nurse Denali." Came a familiar velvet voice, my heart speed up. "What seemed to be the problem here, Bella?" Edward asked.

"You know her, Edward?" Nurse Denali asked, her eyes flashing in anger.

"Yes, she's my roommate, and please, its Dr. Cullen." He said, irritated.

"Jane and Alec Stevenson are minors, they were admitted here ten minutes ago with injuries, I am their social worker, their family are out of contact, and they're asking for me, but she won't let me in." I huffed again, crossing my arms; I tapped my foot and clicked my tongue, narrowing my eyes at her.

"She's allowed in, you know that, I am Jane and Alec's doctor, Bella, if you would follow me." He said smoothly, striding past Denali and ignoring her as she batted her eyelashes and pushed her breasts together.

_*cough*slut*cough*_

"Bella!" Jane exclaimed, throwing her arms around me.

"Mind your arm."

She giggled, seeming drunk, she swayed. "The nurse gave her pain pills." Edward explained, looking at her chart and furrowing her brows, his posture became rigid and his face changed to annoyed.

He pressed a button. "Nurse Denali, get in here."

"Yes Dr. Cullen." She purred, was she waiting outside the door?

"Look at her size Nurse, how much pain medication did you give her?"

"The same as her twin." She rolled her eyes. "He's fine."

"He's also bigger, please go, this is the third time this has happened, I have to write you up."

She pouted. "Really."

"Yes. Now go." He was polite, but I could see the fire in his eyes, he should have shouted at her, and I think she was surprised that he didn't, but then I glanced at the twins on the bed, faces red and Jane's arm still in the cast. And I knew.

He didn't want to scare the children.

My heart grew.

The Nurse left and Edward turned back to the children.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen, would you like to tell me how you got your injuries, I have to tell you that the police will ask you this as well okay?"

They nodded and began to explain how they got injuries, I felt sick at the amount of violence, Edward's face was a mask as he made notes.

I don't know how he did this job.

I stayed until Aro Volturi came for the kids; I said goodbye and that I would be in touch. I told Edward that I'd see him later, and just as I was leaving the hospital, doors down the hall burst open and a gurney came wheeling in. Everyone was rushing around, and I happened to catch a few words.

"Anne Platt, four, fell from two story house, lacerations to the back and inner thighs, possible evidence of sexual assault. . .

I called a cab and was home in two minutes, utterly exhausted and starving, but I couldn't bare myself to eat. The image of the little girl swam through my head. She was just a child, she shouldn't have to go through that. I just curled up on the couch and stared at the TV blankly. I started watching _Secret life of the American teenager. _and couldn't stop laughing, but it was hollow and forced.

Jeez these people have problems. Now that was true.

And that's what I did until I heard Edward walking in the door, his scrubs covered in blood and he had tears in his eyes.

**If I don't get reviews, I take longer to update, sorry for the cliffy I will update next week. If I get reviews, which help me write. Next chapter will be really heavy. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	7. Chapter 7: My past My Job My L

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 7: My past . . .My Job . . .My Life**

**BPOV(Bella).**

**Warning, this chapter contains reference to VERY sensitive subjects do not read if you are sensitive to certain things. Thank you.**

"Edward? What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked, standing up and striding over to him.

"Yeah, Just a patient I lost today, I know I can't get emotionally involved, but it just hit close to home." He gave me a tight smile before brushing past me and locking himself in the bathroom. The shower turned on five minutes later.

My brain was going at a million miles an hour, was it that little girl? I know he couldn't tell me, but I suddenly wanted to know if the girl was alright, not for the gossip, or for the sheer curiosity, no. I wanted to know because I cared, that was my problem, I cared too much, about everyone, everything. Damn conscience.

But then, if the patient who died reminded him of something that happened in his life, it couldn't be the girl, right? Upon that thought I realized how little I knew of Edward's past, like how little he knew of mine.

I was going to tell him. I trusted him, not completely, but I was getting there, I was there enough to tell him.

So when he came out from the bathroom, twenty minutes later, dressed in comfortable clothes, and smelling great. He dumped his scrubs in the bin. I pulled him to the couch.

"Look I know you-" He started, but I cut him off.

"Why did you become a doctor?" I wondered, taking a deep breath, I breathed him in. It was comforting.

He looked at me like I had two heads, before blinking. "Em, I guess, I wanted to help people, make a difference in someone's life, help save someone's life, why?" I sensed there was more, something holding him back, but I couldn't pinpoint what.

"Look, I know you can't talk about Anne." I paused.

"How do you know about her?" he said harshly, fire ignited his eyes, and then they turned pained.

I shrugged. "She came in when I was leaving, I'm not going to ask how her case hits close to home for you, but I am going to tell you why I became a social worker." I finished, looking down. He put his hand under my chin and tilted my head up. "It's not a pretty story, and you might think differently of me when you hear it-"

"My opinion if you can't change, you're still kind, loving, strong and beautiful." His green eyes were smouldering, an embarrassing blush rose to my cheeks and looked down again, fiddling with my half empty glass (yeah, I was a pessimist.) I took a gulp, feeling nervous.

"I grew up in Forks, my dad was a drunk, and my mom was a free spirited person, she was a teacher and painter, great with colours. My dad was the police chief." I chuckled at the memory. "It was very ironic, him being a police officer, I hated him." I said darkly, with a glance from Edward, I explained. "He beat my mom sometimes." I mumbled, sighing.

I felt him freeze. "Did he-" He trailed off, his question held in the air, my silence was confirmation enough, he pulled me onto his lap and I nuzzled my nose into his chest. It felt oddly comforting.

"He got my mother more than me, you know how most kids got put in a timeout? Well, his punishment was to backhand me, and then pull me to my bedroom and lock me in there until my mom came home." I sniffled. "I hated him, I was like his prisoner, mom worked long hours five, days a week and cooked all meals, he did nothing." I sighed.

"Their relationship was always rocky, then when I was four, something happened. . ." I trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"He didn't hurt you did he? I am going to kill him." He mumbled, tightening his arms around me pressing me to him, keeping me in his safe embrace.

"He didn't hurt me that day, emotionally? Yes. Physically? No. One day I was out, playing, I wandered off into the forest. And." I gulped. "I thought I had heard something in there earlier, felt someone watching me. I thought it was a deer."

I felt his breathing hitch. "It wasn't an animal, was it?" he guessed.

"No, it wasn't a deer, it was James Hunter." I spat his name. "though, he acted like an animal. He raped me." I whispered, trying not to cry. "I was FOUR, I was . . .I was-" I cried.

"Shh." Edward soothed, running his fingers through my hair. "Bella, you're safe here."

I sniffled. "I know." I shrugged. "I came home crying and my dad didn't know why, he hit me and I didn't know what to say, I was scared, he looked like James, it was only when mom came home she noticed something was wrong, she ran me a bath, and that's when she saw the blood." I trailed off. "she took me straight to the hospital, I was still hysterical and it was confirmed that I was raped, they got his DNA and he was convicted, life in Prison." I smirked. "He's currently still rotting there."

"Good riddance, if he ever gets out I will hunt him down." He growled.

"Get in line." I quipped. "It put an even worse strain on their relationship, and they divorced the following year."

"That must have been hard." He noted.

"I was depressed, I'd wake up screaming, Charlie couldn't handle it, he moved to Phoenix, I haven't heard from him since." I shuddered. Sometimes I found Alice's reactions funny when I make her awkward by saying 'I hate my dad' she tries to distract me and chuckles nervously. I don't do it anymore, but it was fun when we were teenagers.

"He damaged my uterus; they said that it would always be hard to get pregnant. Which wasn't true, I can get pregnant, I just can't carry to term, well I could, . .. maybe." I mumbled. "Renee had always warned me to never get pregnant before I was twenty-five or she'd kill me. I met Jake when I was eighteen, we had been going out for almost a year, and he wanted . . ._more _but I was scared, I got tired of his nagging and caved on his birthday.

"A month later I got bad pains and I was bleeding . . .a lot." I stopped, whispering the next part. "I never even knew I was pregnant that time, and I lost it, I didn't know if I should grieve, I didn't even know, but I felt . . . empty, I don't know, Jacob never got it, he was relieved, couldn't understand why I missed the baby that went before we ever even knew it existed." I tried to explain, feeling like a complete moron.

"Bella, it's natural to grieve, wondering what could have been, what would have been." Edward explained, looking into my glassy eyes, he wiped away a tear that had fallen.

"He proposed when I was twenty-one, I never questioned it, just said yes, I don't think I really loved him, I don't know what love is anymore." I mumbled. "My mom turned against me when I lost the baby, I never really knew why, she remarried two years ago, to Phil, Jacob wouldn't let me go to the wedding and Renee's hatred grew." I swallowed.

"Why did you tell me all that?" he asked in a small voice.

"I don't know, I trust you . . .maybe it was a bad idea . . .forget I ever said anything. . ."

"Bella, shh love, remember when I mentioned Lauren?" he asked, his eyes darkening with sudden anger, I flinched, not having seen this side of him yet, we still had so much to learn. His eyes softened when he sensed my discomfort.

"Your old girlfriend?" I asked.

"We were high school sweethearts, started dating at sixteen, I thought she was it for me . . . loved her with everything I had . . .I just never knew she didn't feel the same . . .class-A gold-digger, all the way . . .tried to rope me into her games . . .ruined my life. . .ruined everyone's life. . ."

**Oh no! what did Lauren do? It's pretty bad. Bella's past is so sad . . . Please review this chapter, it was hard for me to write, Review and I will update on what the bitch (Lauren) did to poor Edward. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	8. Chapter 8: Everything We Knew

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 8: Everything We Knew.**

**BPOV(Bella).**

Edward ran a hand through his crazy hair. "Let's start from the beginning,." He suggested. I nodded in encouragement.

"When I was five, my Parents divorced, Elizabeth and Carlisle Cullen, mom remarried, I didn't realize why her new husband was also called Edward, and looked like me. When I was ten, I found out. She cheated on Carlisle, my dad, wasn't my dad. But he was, I went to live with Carlisle, he was heart Brocken, Mom had Edward, they were happy.

I kept the name Cullen, but I put Mason in my name. I went through a bit of a rebellious stage when I was sixteen, I ah . . .slept around a bit. OW!" I hit him. "It was only with like, five girls, before I met Lauren.

"I loved her, I really thought I did, anyway. We dated for a while, moved in together when we went off to college, I was twenty, still in collage, when Lauren came home one night, saying she was pregnant." His face turned into a mask, and I knew he was trying not to break down. "It wasn't ideal timing, I was in college, getting my PHD and studying medicine, but I was happy, I was so happy." He had a wistful look in his eyes as he gazed at the wall.

"Anna Cullen was born twelve-twenty-five A.M on the eleventh of May, she was so small." He whispered.

"Lauren never cared for her, during the whole pregnancy she complained about how fat she was, I told her she looked radiant, she was carrying our child. She told me to fuck off." he sighed. "I did the night feeding's, I got no sleep, dropped her off at the sitter's every day, and went to college, where I somehow managed to pass.

"I had just turned Twenty-two, Lauren had moved out, I wanted to get married, for Anna, it was just for her, Lauren didn't care for her, I did everything with Anna, but Lauren took her away just to make me feel pain." He chuckled, though he sounded strangled.

"I saw her all the time, unlike my birth parents, who I haven't spoken to in years, then one night, I got a call, she wasn't even three yet, Lauren had passed out drunk while giving her a bath, she drowned." All emotion had drained from his voice and I gasped.

How could a mother drink so much to pass out with a child in the house? And then to leave a child in a bath? I just don't know. I felt sick, how did Edward cope? The guilt, the loss, the pain. After a few moments of heavy silence, he continued.

"Lauren didn't cry, nothing. The only reason she had Anna was because she wanted money, that's it, money, I gave her enough in child support, Anna got none of it. Lauren was tested, but no alcohol was in her system, she pretended to be passed out, and she drowned my baby." A strangled sob escaped him, and my heart sped up, I have never seen him this venerable, granted, I had only known him a little over a week, I felt pathetic. How could someone do that to a child? Basically a baby? And to your own baby? I swallowed the bile in my throat. Wanting to hunt this Lauren down, she didn't deserve a life since she took an innocent life.

"She's in jail for life, charged with murder." He sniffled, pulling out his wallet and handed me a picture of an adorable little light haired girl with dark green eyes, a mix of Edwards and someone else's.

"She is beautiful." I muttered.

"Was." He choked.

I shook my head. "No, is, she may not be here, but she is the prettiest child I have ever seen, she _is _beautiful." Our eyes met, and we held our gaze for a while, it was intense, and something inside me stirred.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, I didn't think, I just acted, our lips moulded together perfectly, my hands went into his hair and one of his hands rested on my back and the other on my hip. Both of our tears mixed together and I knew we needed to stop. But I didn't want to.

Had I thought about Edward like this? Hell yeah. But they were just minor thoughts I tried to ignore. But right now, they were impossible to put to the side. What I feel with Edward I've never felt before, it felt right, I loved being with him, I loved him .. .

Wait! Hold your high horses there, where did that thought come from? _You do not love the sexy man._

Damn it, I'm screwed. Was this just a in the moment kiss? Did it mean anything? We broke apart gasping for air, our noses almost touching.

"We should stop." He whispered, his breath fanning out over me and I swooned, his mouth moved to my neck and he left a trail of open mouth kisses up to my ear. I suppressed a moan by biting my lip.

"Yeah." I breathed, but didn't pull away, I was straddling his lap, my breathing was erratic, and my hands were tangled in his hair, plus judging by the problem in his trousers, poking my inner thigh, he was enjoying this too.

Our lips met again, less forceful this time, less needy, but there was more electricity. The electricity flowed through my body and seemed to ignite a fire in me. A chorus of 'we should stop' and 'not the right time' followed, but sometime during this, he managed to carry me to his bedroom (god knows how, I had gained some weight from comfort eating) our limbs tangled together and our clothes thudded to the floor.

And for one night, the pain was numbed, everything we knew was gone, and I felt whole for the first time in forever.

**Next chapter . . .Awkward morning after. . . tell me what you think. . .That just happened, so yeah. I was nervous about posting this chapter. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	9. Chapter 9: Queue Panic

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 9: Queue Panic.**

**BPOV(Bella).**

I woke up as I was really warm. Or my bed was, but it wasn't a bed. It was Edward's chest. My eyes widened and I tried to get up, but his arms around me pulled me close I looked at the clock to my right, I had to strain my neck, it was five-fifty nine. The minute changed and it began beeping.

Edward groaned, hitting the clock with his hand and throwing his arm over his face, he pulled me closer and froze, his hand left his face and his eyes widened as he looked at me.

_Awkward silence follows. . ._

"I'm going . ..um, shower." I mumbled, sitting up. "Close your eyes." I warned, he rolled his eyes, but closed them, I knew it was irrational, he had already seen me naked, but, yeah, I hopped up and ran to the shower.

When the hot water hot me, that's when I let everything sink in.

_Holy mother. . .I slept with Edward._

_Shit, shit, shit. _What does this mean? We have to talk about this, clearly, until we do everything will be awkward, like this morning. Are we still friends? More? Less? Okay, I don't really know how we would be less. But, I'm not ready for anything more, right?

For some reason a picture of an old fat woman sitting in a rocking chair tapping her fingers together under her chin, flashed into my mind, I imagined her saying _'love works in mysterious ways.'_

Yes, well so does my head, this wasn't love; I knew I _liked _Edward, but it was not love. It couldn't be, not after a week.

I slept with someone I had known for a week, after we pored our hearts out to one another. I told him about my past, my dad, James. . .

My eyes welled when I thought about what he told me, his daughter was murdered. My experience could never compare to that, I had lost two babies, yes, but I never even saw a real picture of them, never held them, named them, never saw them grow. He did, he got to be a dad, I never really got to be a mom, which might be a good thing in a way, what if I turned out like Renee.

No, I won't ever turn out like her, I full on refuse to. Not like its any use, as if I'd ever be able to be a mother.

_Stop it Bella, you are twenty-five, stop worrying about this until you're married._

If I ever get married.

Banging on the door broke into my thoughts. "Bella you okay?" Edwards smooth voice floated in through the door.

I got up from the floor (I don't even remember falling down, but I just got down there somehow.) and turned off the shower.

I ringed out my hear and wrapped a towel around myself, unlocking the door, I was startled to find out Edward was still outside the door, worry etched into his face, I looked down, embarrassed , I was in only a towel.

I scotched past him into my room and got dressed, tying up my still damp hair in a ponytail. I went out to the kitchen to see Edward there in his scrubs. We were quiet for a while, then we spoke at the same time.

"There's-" I started.

"We need to-" he began, chuckling lightly. "You go first."

I pointed to the corner of the room. "There's a big perverted elephant in the room we're ignoring."

He burst out laughing. "Perverted elephant?" he managed to get out. "I love how random you are sometimes." My heart speed up when he laughed, the sound was soothing. _Not take out the 'how random' part and I'm sold. _Where did that come from?

"I am not." I huffed. "When people say they're ignoring the elephant in the room, I used to always think 'that's weird, an elephant in the room staring at you creepily.' I mean I know what it means, but. . ." I shrugged, not really knowing where I was going with this.

"Go out with me." He blurted out.

I very attractively cougorted. (coughed/snorted) "What." I squeaked.

"I know I'm doing this the wrong way, and I feel like I'm in high school again saying this, but I like you, more than I should, so go on a date with me, tonight, I completely understand if you say no, this was a stupid idea anyw-" I cut him off with a kiss.

"Yes."

"Really?" he asked.

"Really." I rolled my eyes, that was coming to be our word we said too much.

"This isn't going to be easy." He warned. His green eyes bright. Was he referring to us going on a date? Or something else? I went with the first option.

"Nothing worth doing is ever easy." I said, smiling.

He smirked. I think I died a little bit. "I'll pick you up at seven for our date, Mrs. Swan." He said. Standing and leaving before I could reply.

Holy mother fudging cheese sticks.

I have a date with Edward Cullen.

Queue panic.

**Ta da *bites nails* well? This was a bit of a fluffy chapter. But they're going on a date, yey! Blah, Blah, Blah, tell me what you think, even if it is only a word, or letter, though that would be a bit strange, but I'd except, wow, doesn't make me sound desperate. At. All. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


	10. Chapter 10: Conversations

**Everything We Knew.**

**Chapter 10: Conversations.**

**BPOV(Bella).**

**I hope she doesn't mind, but I want to dedicate this chapter to **_**TwilighterSam1989**_**. Thank you.**

Work ticked by slowly today, but in a way it went by too fast. I wanted time to freeze, because I didn't want to go on this date. Well, I did, but I don't know if I was ready or not. Yet, I wanted time to speed up to get to the date as well.

Well I can't have everything.

Which I don't.

Edward text me to say we would leave at eight, so at six fifteen, I drove to Alice and Rose's, wet hair and in my bathrobe. In a full on panic attack.

''Shit, child, calm down!'' Rose shouted, eyes wide, taking in my panting, murmuring form. ''What's wrong?''

''I have a date.'' I pushed past her, going in and planning to collapse on the closest chair I could find, but I was halted in my tracks. Looking at the couch-it was new. They got a new couch.

Because I bloodied up the last one.

''How much was it?'' I questioned as Rose shouted for Alice, a surprised grin taking up her face for a split second, Rose was cold on the outside, mostly, but it was all just a mask.

''How much was what?'' She wondered.

''The couch, I completely forgot I ruined the last one, I'll pay you back for this one. No arguments.''

''This discussion isn't over Isabella Marie, you don't need to pay us back, don't worry, just breathe through this.'' She joked, raising a brow at me. ''So, who's the lucky man? And why have we not heard of him?''

''It's Edward, isn't it?'' Alice shouted, bouncing into the room. ''You two are perfect for each other.''

''Don't get ahead of yourself.'' I dismissed. ''Have you seen him? There are plenty of women out there who would be better than me.''

''Don't say that.'' Alice narrowed her eyes. ''Jake did a number on you, honey, Edward isn't Jake.''

''I know.'' I shrugged. ''Jake killed me, emotionally anyway. Edward, just, I just can't believe he _wants _to be with me.''

''Well believe it.'' Rose beamed. ''Now, tell us why you have a certain glow about you.''

I blushed. ''How's things with Emmett?'' I tried to change the subject.

''She had sex.'' Rose smiled.

''She totally had sex.'' Alice agreed.

Stupid friends, they know everything.

We spent the next hour talking about everything, as they did my hair and picked out an outfit for me. Alice had been out with Jasper, a lot, and Rose saw Emmett almost every day. They didn't say it, but they didn't need to, they were in love.

I wondered if this was how it was meant to be, relationships. I had only ever been with Jake, for years, that relationship was all I knew, all I had ever known. I thought I loved him. Maybe at one point I really had, but was it the thought of losing him I hated, or was it just him?

In the time I had known Edward I had felt more at home than I ever had with Jake. It was just the little things really. He always let me shower first, or if he went first he was never long. We had this unspoken rule that whoever ate the last of a certain food would buy it again. But even when it was my turn he'd just shrug say he didn't mind and bought more.

Although he could just be annoyed I kept drinking all the milk.

''I told him about James.'' I blurted out, finally, Alice was in the middle of curling my hair and she froze.

''Alice, I can smell my hair burning.'' Rose had frozen too.

''Alice!'' I screeched, she dropped my hair, a very tight ringlet dropped free.

It took them a while to speak again, but they did, and I told them everything, leaving out Edwards past, it was his to share, not mine.

''So then you had sex.'' Alice tapped her foot.

''You don't have to make it sound so crude.'' I frowned, blushing.

''OHHHHH, it happened twice!'' Alice squealed, Rose smiled and apparently, my silence was confirmation enough.

_*****E*W*K*****_

Of course my truck chose then to die on me. Alice had a hot date with Jasper in less than an hour and was panicking, but Rose, who also had a date, was prepared, so offered to drive me.

But soon, her intentions were clear.

''I think I'm ready to do it with Emmett.'' She had berated out.

I smiled softly. ''Rose, that's brilliant! As long as you are ready and you're not getting pressured into it. . .'' I trailed off, Emmett seemed like a nice guy and Edward liked him, and I don't think he would push Rose into anything.

She shook her head. ''No, nothing like that, I-I think I love him.''

This was a big step for Rose; Royce was her boyfriend near the end of high school. I had never met the guy, but he only wanted one thing, Rose's body, she however didn't want that so he took it. She was in hospital for months and there was a point where we thought we would lose her.

''Does he know?'' By the way I said it she knew I wasn't talking about the fact that she loved him, but about Royce.

''No, I am telling him tonight though, I know he'll be fine with it.''

I hoped so, if Rose really did love him I hope he didn't mind.

''Why didn't you say anything in front of Alice?'' I wondered.

We pulled up to the apartment building. ''She doesn't understand, you know? The pain, the suffering, the guilt, the what if's.''

I got it, I really did, Alice had never been violated in the worst way possible. Which I am so happy about, me and Rose shouldn't know that pain, but we do and we can't control it.

''Good luck.'' I told her.

''You too.'' She said softly as I got out and closed the car door.

I watched her drive away before I made my way inside. Edward was to be back any second now, but I didn't think he should be home yet, so you can imagine my surprise when I opened the door to be met with an Edward, but it wasn't _my _Edward.

Two older people who looked strikingly like Edward stood in the middle of the room, staring at me like I was at them.

It could have only been his parents, Elizabeth and Edward Sr.

Well shit.

Elizabeth eyes me curiously, looking me up and down, inspecting me. I felt uneasy about it.

I didn't hear Edward came in, but the next thing I knew, he was at my back.

''What are you doing here?'' he spat, staring with murderous green eyes at his parents.

**Oh, drama! Review and I will update faster. I promise, we will get to that date. . .sometime. Thank you ;)xxx**

**-BATTM**


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